When parents are asked what they wish for their children when they grow up, the most common answer is, “I just want them to be happy.” And indeed, most parents put their money, time, and energy where their hearts are. They become heavily invested in their children’s future happiness, as they plan the path that should lead them to the promised land of satisfaction and contentment.
Without doubting the love, devotion and sincerity of parents, the fact is that despite their tremendous efforts, the level of happiness in our country has not gone up in the past fifty years. Everything else has grown significantly: our wealth, the size of our homes, and the amount of food available for us, but we are not happier. Not only that, but the signs of unhappiness, such as the number of people who suffer from depression and the usage of legal and illegal drugs that are meant to make us feel good, have reached unprecedented levels.
In light of this, one has to wonder if we are on the right track.Do we really know what would make our children happy in the future,and is the map we are drawing for them to show them how to get there, accurate?
Happiness in our culture is perceived to be highly correlated with financial success. The conventional wisdom is that if you land a good job you will make enough money to live in a big house, to drive nice cars, and to take expensive vacations –and then you are happy. But how do you start?How do you get the good job that is the key to a happy life? We all know the answer – you have to graduate from a prestigious university,top of your class. And how do you get there? It is not only that your GPA (grade point average) must start with the digit “4” (meaning the top grade) and your SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Test) cannot fall much below 2400 (the maximum score). You also need a resume that reflects your athletic and artistic achievements, in addition to your charity work of the caliber of Mother Teresa’s.
Not many students get there, but so many try really hard. The problem is that this immensely stressful journey often comes with a very big emotional, psychological, and physical price, and at times it is even fatal.
Many of you rightly question the road to happiness I described above. But, it has been proven time and time again that financial success and social status contribute very little, if at all, to happiness. Yet, the educational system created by our schools and our political leaders does not reflect this. Our children now have even more homework, more standardized tests and much more stress at the expense of less sleep, less free play and much less creativity.
I’ve met many of these kids who are feeling stressed and pressured. They used to be playful and full of joy, and then one day their appearance and attitude changed dramatically, as if someone just sucked part of their life away. Part of it is the four to five hours of sleep instead of the recommended nine, for some it is the overuse of medications,yet for others it is the daily fear of getting a “B” on their report card. Nobody should live under such stress, especially not children.
We all want our children to be happy. Even if we have different views on how to help our children get there, we can all agree it’s time to address the extraordinary pressures on our children today.