When Children Die

Newtown, Connecticut, a Week Later

In our weekly portion, Vayigash, Joseph reveals himself to his brothers and asks “is our father still alive?”  Hundreds of parents in Connecticut last week asked “is our son/daughter still alive?” and too many received the answer they dreaded the most – “no”.

As I heard the devastating news about the shooting in Connecticut I felt not only tremendously deep and previously unknown sadness, but also a physical pain that lingered for days. At one point I realized that I was not only grieving the victims, but in a strange way I was grieving my own children. I knew that they were safe, but the pictures of the 20 children who were murdered look so much like my own kids and their friends, and the bereaved parents look so much like us and our friends. It might have been selfish and self-indulgent to make it about me, but I couldn’t help it.

Very quickly after the shooting the focus of the discourse shifted to what and whom to blame: the NRA and the gun laws, the murderer’s mother who stored a collection of guns in her house including a semiautomatic rifle, school security, and the health care system that fails to offer adequate support for the mentally ill. But I wanted to wait with all of that. I didn’t want to run away from the pain; I needed to feel it for a few more days, without letting it turn into anger. Anger is a natural element in the process of mourning, but it shouldn’t take over all the other emotions. As Ecclesiastes taught us “for everything there is a time.” There is a time for anguish and there is a time for outrage; there is a time to mourn and there is a time to act.

Now we are a week later (the traditional period of Shiva) and it is the time to act. The event in Newtown illuminated many problems in our political and legal systems, but if we want to achieve something we ought to channel our efforts in one direction – and it must be more sensible gun laws. We should not let the subsiding of our grief allow gun violence to disappear once again from the national agenda. We waited too long after Virginia Tech and we got Tucson, and our inaction led to Aurora and Oak Creek and now to Newtown. President Obama promised to act, but he and our leaders need us to constantly put pressure on them to stay on the right path.

Since 1982, there have been at least 61 mass murders carried out with firearms across the country and in most cases the killers obtained their weapons legally. One shouldn’t be surprised that 15 of the 25 worst mass shootings in the last 50 years took place in the United States, since in 33 states, criminals can buy guns at gun shows without background checks. Forty percent of gun sales nationwide take place without any checks at all. In one year, 31,593 people died from gun violence, which means 86 people a day.  Nine of them are kids.

In Leviticus (19:16) we learn one of the key principles of Judaism: “You shall not stand idly by the blood of your neighbor.” This is the time to confess that we have stood idly by the blood of gun violence’s victims for too long. In our tradition, though, confession does not automatically lead to forgiveness. It is only the first step that must be followed by a plan to make sure that our transgression will never happen again.

Below you will find a partial list of organizations that work towards bringing about the needed change:

A petition in support of sensible gun control by the Religious Action Center of the Reform Movement: http://action.rac.org/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=12360

A petition to end gun violence by The Jewish Council on Public Affairs: http://engage.jewishpublicaffairs.org/blog/comments.jsp?blog_entry_KEY=6670

For more information and ways of action: Coalition to Stop Gun Violence: http://www.csgv.org

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